Let’s be completely serious here, there are lots of questions that people have when they find out I work in the Adult Industry. Curiosity is a great trait that I love to see in my audience, but I get super fucking tired of repeating the answers to the basic questions over and over again. To combat my irritation I’m going to write this cute little post for you guys, answering the most frequently asked questions in one place. It gives me something to passive aggressively link to people who ask the same things on repeat, which is always fun for me hehe. So if you have a question, save me the time of passive-aggressively linking you, and just read the answers below 😉
Question 1: Why Did You Get Into The Adult Industry?
Ok, this one you can also find in other blogposts, as well as being on my Youtube channel in several different formats, but lets put it in here anyway.
I got into sex work as a extension of being part of the Swinging community, having an established predisposition towards kink and having the urge to do something that was empowering and entirely my own. I didn’t get into it lightly and spent a long time deciding what I wanted to do in the industry, especially what my limits would be and how I would keep myself safe.
At first I didn’t know where I was going with it, but it turned into something I now do as my primary living. I’m predominantly a cam-girl, content creator, body positivity advocate and sex educator. I’m happier than I have ever been.
Question 2: Are You Single/Poly/Open/Taken?
The answer to this one is: Yes.
Am I single? Yes.
Do I have people in my life that I love and are non-negotiable parts of my world? Yes.
Am I happy for other people in my life to find love, happiness and sexual pleasure wherever they want as long as they are safe, sane and consensual? Yes.
Do I consider myself to be loved and safe with the people I have in my life? Yes.
Question 3: Do You Meet Fans?
No I don’t.
I know there are a lot of content creators out there that do things like “Fuck a Fan” events and competitions, but I honestly can’t think of anything I would ever want to do less. That isn’t meant to be insulting to anyone, I have some wonderful. amazing fans who I am honoured have chosen to support me, however unless it is in the context of a conference (like the Sex in the Media Conference in Dundee) or something similar, I cannot imagine a situation where I will willingly go out of my way to meet with fans.
There are two reasons for this really.
- I have a very strong line between my personal sex life and my work in the industry. I’m picky on collaborating in the first place, and I honestly don’t like one night stands or one off meets.
- Safety!! I am a face-out, open and outspoken member of the sex industry. If I started meeting fans, I would be opening up far too much to my audience. I may be happily open about most of my life, but I have no interest in going further than the level I have currently chosen. Respect My Boundaries!!
So don’t waste your time asking. You will be told a polite, but firm, no.
Question 4: Will You Collaborate With Me?
This one is interesting because it comes with a lot of caveats, but the general answer is usually going to be no.
HOWEVER, bear with me while I explain why.
When most people ask to collaborate I tend to ask a series of vetting questions first and most of the time they answer with huh?
The first thing I tend to ask is what experience they have collaborating, followed by whither they are happy to sign both release and consent forms on all/any content filmed together. Then I ask whither they will happily get a full sexual health check prior to any content creation, supply evidence of the results and also practise safe sex (both for men and women). That one is the one that usually sends people packing.
I also expect to be able to laugh and be friends with someone I will create content with, because I believe wholeheartedly that the best sex and content comes from sharing the same ideals, having real connection (be that friendship or chemistry), laughter and intimacy. I don’t do one-off sex and I don’t have any interest in collaborating with someone I wouldn’t happily go for a drink with or bump into at a kink event.
Most folks forget that at the end of the day this is my job. I expect everything done with a level of professionalism that is non-negotiable. Unfortunately a lot of fledgling content creators (and people in general) don’t consider sex work to be a profession.
So yeah, as a general rule, I won’t collab with 99.9% of the people that ask me.
Question 5: What Do Your Friends and Family Think?
My friends are my biggest supporters and advocates. My two best friends are crazy levels of supportive and proud in a way that I never expected and I am consistently surprised by.
Even most of my acquaintances and further afield friends are supportive in their own way… usually by liking my Insta posts or my TikToks. Every little bit helps!
The “friends” who don’t approve or don’t like what I do have either been wise enough to stay quiet about it, or are no longer in my life.
Family wise, my immediate family are as supportive and wonderful as I could have hoped for. My mum is tolerant of my choices and supports me as much as she can as long as I am safe. My dad makes fun of me fairly consistently for being an internet hoe, but he’s proud that I’m doing something with my life that makes me happy. My middle brother is ambivalent and my youngest brother is my biggest cheerleader.
So yeah. My family and friends support me.
Question 6: Don’t You Think You’ll Regret This One Day?
I honestly don’t believe in regrets.
When it comes down to it regrets are just an excuse to punish yourself for things you can’t change, so why bother with it? I may have things in my past I wish hadn’t happened, but I don’t have anything I would change, because then I wouldn’t be who I am now.
If I make mistakes, I learn from it and make changes in my life and don’t repeat the same mistake. Better to learn and grow than beat myself up for things I can’t undo.
It also seems pointless to live my life worrying about what future Kitty might think of current Kitty’s life choices. If you spend your life worrying about what you’ll be thinking 20 years from now you’re going to miss out on a lot of actual living.
Question 7: Will You Be My Sugar Baby?
This is an interesting question, but honestly, the answer is basically no.
As I said above, I don’t do meets, and I’m not an escort. Will I make you custom content for the price I set? Certainly. Do I accept gifts from my Wishlist? Of course. But will I organise any long-term arrangement that means I am beholden to anyone? No. No I won’t.
Sugaring works for some people, and more power them, but it’s not my bag. It’s a boundary thing.
Question 8: How Can You Respect Yourself While Doing THAT For Money?!
Easily.
How can YOU respect yourself while doing what YOU do for a living? There is no necessary correlation between self-worth and your chosen profession. The lady who’s worked her whole life in the little corner café can have just as much self-worth as the surgeon who saves lives everyday. The dude that empties your bins can have just as much self-worth as a CEO.
It’s about liking who you ARE!
It just so happens that I both like who I am as well as what I do for a living.
Question 9: What Will Your Future Husband/Wife/Children Think?
This question really baffles me! Especially since it normally comes from other women!
Do you really think it’s a good idea to plan your future with someone who is actively threatened by your life choices (either past of present)? I certainly don’t. I would never marry someone who didn’t love and support all aspects of my life, including my spicy side.
And as far as kids are concerned, I will raise my children (when I have them) in a healthy, educated and sex positive household. Imagine raising your children not to judge people for their choice of job or choice of lifestyle! What a scandalous notion…
So my future family will love me for who I am. End of story.
Question 10: You know you’re just selling your body right?
Ok, this one is the most idiotic, patronising bullshit I’ve ever heard. Unfortunately I also hear it frequently.
You are selling your body, your time and your life every time you go to work. We all sell ourselves for money. I just do it in a way that allows ME to be in charge of my price. The cashier at the corner shop doesn’t set their price, the owner of the shop does. The soldier in the army doesn’t set the price on his body or life, the government does. You sell hours of your life, working a 9-5 job, making barely enough to cover your bills and still (maybe) manage to have a small semblance of a life, but never really enough to thrive.
I may sell images, videos and livestreams of my body, but I’m the one who sets the price of my worth. At the end of the day, my consent is not for sale and I get to spend my life doing something that makes me happy.
Think about that next time you consider telling a sex worker they are “selling their body”.
I’ll add to these as more come up.
Kitty xxx
