A Summary of 2021

So the Bells have rung and 2021 is now behind us, leaving me feeling reflective.
I could be one of those people who are delightfully upbeat and optimistic about the idea of the New Year, with all the potential it could bring… but I’m not one of those people. You’ll get no resolutions from me in 2022, or in any year for that matter. If you can’t keep to a personal challenge the rest of the year, why would making one on January 1st be any different? I prefer to always strive to be a better throughout the year, instead. Enough of that though. This post isn’t about my views on “New Year, New Me” culture. This post is about the year 2021 and what it’s been like for me. I considered long and hard about how to go about this sort of post. A year is a long time to try to summarise, and it has been a fairly eventful year for me! So instead of waffling in a completely unorganised manner, I’ve decided (in my infinite wisdom) to break my year down to monthly summaries. It makes sense to my addled brain, so we’ll roll with it.

January 2021

January 2021 was strange for me. It was the first New Year I’d spent as a single woman since I was 14 years old and it was in a strict lockdown, so I spent most of it alternating between my day job and being on my own. I saw my parents occasionally, or went on a socially distanced walks with my best friends. There were a few people trying to make me feel like I wasn’t alone, but I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t hard. Although my relationship of almost 13 years was far from healthy, it was all I’d really known as an adult, which made my first Christmas and New Year as a single woman a serious shock to the system. I decided to work my day-job over the Christmas period, totalling a straight 36 hours, which unsurprisingly turned me into a permanently exhausted pigeon throughout January. I worked fairly consistently regardless of my exhaustion, pulling extra hours and doing that delightful thing I do where I forget that I have the option to say “nope” to overtime requests or shift cover. Although I’m self aware enough to know it was me trying to avoid doing that pesky feeling thing that us humans are wont to do.

I spent most of my downtime playing video games or bumbling around the FabSwingers forum, being adorable and enjoying deflating the ego of men who think that messaging a woman a picture of their cock will make her fall to her knees in subjugation. I did a lot of photo challenges on Fab, both running them and taking part, which I really enjoyed. My arty side loved the challenge and my exhibitionist side loved the attention (despite it being empty validation most of the time). Around the end of the longest January in human history, I finally gave in to the gentle coxing of friends to jump onto NSFW Twitter and found a whole world of people just as crazy as me. I didn’t just sign up for Twitter though… in one mad night I joined up to Reddit, Instagram, TikTok and finally OnlyFans. When I told one of my friends he laughed at me and said “it’s like someone has turned on your crazy button and now it’s stuck!” He wasn’t wrong!

That first week or so was fairly wild. I had been open about being interested in ethical non-monogamy, polyamory and swinging with most people in my life, so it wasn’t much of a leap to hear that I’d jumped into the adult industry with both feet. The standard response from most people in my life was along the lines of “you weren’t doing that already?” Before I actively took to facebook and other places to advertise, I decided I owed my parents a heads up on what I was doing. I didn’t want them to find out through other people and not be told the facts from my own lips. My parents are fairly liberal people and I didn’t expect them to have much of a problem with it, but I was still nervous when I sat down with them both to let them know.

My Dad’s response was along the lines of: “Oh well, we always knew you were a bit of a whore. Would you like a cup of tea?” Bless his cotton socks! I think that’s the best response I could have asked for from him, and it was very much meant with affection. Later I got more from him about it, where he told me he trusts me to look after myself and as long as I’m happy then he is happy for me to do whatever I want with my life. My Mum, on the other hand, asked all of the relevant questions you would expect from a concerned parent. She wanted to know whither I was safe, if I was using protection and whither I had considered all of the long-term consequences of working in the porn industry. By which she of course meant, had I considered what a future husband or future children might think of my life choices. Of course by this point I’d been in the swinging scene over a year and I had considered the potential ramifications of such a lifestyle choice in great detail. I knew that I couldn’t and wouldn’t settle for a traditional monogamous relationship in the future; nor would I be content with a partner who would be threatened by my previous or current life choices. As far as children were concerned, I couldn’t imagine raising children who wouldn’t be taught to respect the choices and freedoms of those around them. So my mother gave me as much of her blessing as she was comfortable to give at the time… which was: “Well, you were a life drawing model at 18, so a cam girl at 28 isn’t that much of a surprise.”

February 2021

February was a learning curve. I spent a lot of time up to my ears in research trying to figure out how to make this OnlyFans thing a viable endeavour. I hadn’t decided whither I wanted to make it just a hobby, a proper job or more of a blog-like thing where I could also make a little pocket money. I was just running with it and hoping for the best, advertising everywhere and being as open and positive about my new life choice as I could. I knew I definitely wanted to be as authentically and truly myself as possible, and not fall into the trap of making empty/soulless content The one thing I didn’t expect was the amount of interest I would gain in that first month. It turns out a lot of people in my life had pictured me naked and wanted to see the real thing! Who knew?

I had a couple of weeks holiday from my day job and on one of the days I was invited to have a look around an up and coming kink and porn production studio in Glasgow. It had EVERYTHING a kinky little weirdo like me could ever want to play with or use. I’d never seen so much kink equipment or sex toys in my life! Imagine a kid at Christmas and you wouldn’t be far removed from me dancing around looking at things I’d only ever imagined being able to play with. After looking around, I agreed to do some filming for my own OnlyFans page and their upcoming website. It seemed to be quite a good arrangement: I had full autonomy over what I would and would not do, full access to the facilities, rights to use every video or photograph I was in and use of the professional photographer/videographer for my own ideas. In exchange I allowed the studio to use my videos/photos as part of their content, on the condition I was always tagged.

My first shoot took place shortly afterwards. In one 12 hour sitting I did 3 full length solo videos and a couple of solo photoshoots. I also got to try a few kinks that I’d never had the chance to try before… electro being the main one! I see that first day as more about exploring and getting to know a new environment, because although I was working with the owner that day, he wasn’t the best videographer or photographer the world has ever seen and the content wasn’t always filmed at the best angle or in the best way. However, I enjoyed the experience and agreed to come back for another few shoots in the future.

The following week I got a message from two utterly wonderful people who run a podcast that many of you may well be aware of: The Bed Hoppers. I was fangirling insanely when they asked if I’d like to be interviewed on a podcast about OnlyFans and online content. I told them I hadn’t been at it for very long, but that was part of the appeal! So I was interviewed by two of the loveliest people in the swinging community! Honestly it’s one of the best things I did in 2021, and if you want to hear the interview just click HERE. I won’t go into it too much, because you can listen yourselves and this blogpost promises to be crazy long as it is! Needless to say though, it was nice to chat to people who think the same way as me and be challenged by questions I hadn’t fully thought through. It was a nice way of wrapping up February… because March was the start of a several month long drama!!

March 2021

So on the day I was meant to return to my day job (actually about 2 hours before my shift, which made me even angrier about the situation) I was called by my manager and informed that I was being suspended from work because I was on OnlyFans. It was like a punch squarely in the guts. I liked my job and was very, very good at it, so to be told that something I chose to do in my personal life somehow made me unsuitable for the job made me apoplectic. The worst part was that I had checked my contract, checked the social media policy and double checked my SSSC license before I had opened any of my NSFW pages and found absolutely no reason at all that my work should have an issue with me making spicy content in my own time. I’d even spoken briefly to one of my managers about it, and was told that as long as it’s kept away from HR and I didn’t mix my day job with it there shouldn’t be any problems. Regardless of the lack of policy or valid reason, I was told not to attend work that night and suspended (on full pay) under the accusation of gross misconduct. I was also told that I was not allowed to talk about this to any of my colleagues or speak out about what I deemed to be disgusting levels of discrimination and slut shaming while I was under investigation. I felt gagged, and not in the fun consensual way.

Immediately I sent out messages to a couple of friends in the sex work industry, asking if they had any help or advice. One of my friends is a lawyer and she was excellent at calming me down enough to see things logically. She pointed out that I was completely correct in my assessment that the company did not have a single policy that adequately allowed for them to discipline me over my private life, and that if I stood my ground they would eventually dig themselves a hole they couldn’t get themselves out of. So despite feeling righteous anger akin to an exploding volcano, I waited to get my investigation date. My investigation was a week or so later, but I won’t go into too much more detail on what happened, because the more I type the more I realise this deserves and should get a blogpost all to itself. If I try and fit everything that went down between me and my day job there won’t be room for anything else, and despite it having a huge impact on my year it wasn’t the only thing worthy of being documented. Basically you can assume that the investigation was just as full of shaming, embarrassing and ridiculous assumptions as you’d expect.

Anyhoo… I used my time suspended to good use. I threw myself into content creation with a vigour born of pure undiluted irritation. There was almost a constant playlist of “battle music” playing in my house, because that’s very much how I felt. So I started filming more professional level content in earnest. I finally finished getting my Jessica Rabbit cosplay together and did a naughty pin-up style photoshoot with the photographer who worked out of dungeon, followed by a VERY naughty strip tease and masturbation video. I stripped slowly, dancing until I was sitting naked on the bar, where I made myself cum on a white rampant rabbit followed by grinding out another orgasm on a doxy wand. It was so much fun! There was also a lot of empowerment to it, since I was also directing my scenes and had full control over the scenario. If you want to see it, check out my spicy sites. It’s available on all of them free on the feed! I also did a JOI video as a school teacher that day, as well as giving my first suspension scene a try… although that didn’t work out the way we planned and I had to safeword out of the rig before we started filming. There were a few other scenes that month too, where I had the great joy of getting to film with two other wonderful women (one of which is now a very important part of my life). I really got to flex my domme muscles with the girls and I learned so much in a very short time! It really set me up for the next few months.

April 2021

April was a fantastic month for content and was my best month for new subscribers to my OnlyFans by a long shot. I’d settled myself into a routine of posting or having two-three posts scheduled to drop every day, plus having a message with exclusive content going out every Sunday to subscribers with auto-renew turned on. My TikTok was finally starting to take off as well, where I was posting kink education videos, body positivity videos, cosplay content… as well as the practically mandatory thirst trap or two! I found that I was correct with my theory that if I showed my personality as much as my body I’d encourage more people to subscribe, follow or simply smile wherever possible. I liked that feeling! Not just the knowledge that people were masturbating over me (although that is very fun in its own way!), but the knowledge that I can also educate people and make them laugh. I was being seen as one full human and it was so liberating.

On a personal sex-life note, I had my first FFFM with two of the girls I made content with and the guy in my life at the start of April. That experience was definitely up there in the hottest sexual experiences of my life! More about that another time though…

I did my first paid photoshoot, which was short but so much fun. You can’t really knock posing in front of a camera for an hour and walking away with money in your pocket and the best images sent to you a week later. Don’t get me wrong, most photoshoots aren’t like that for me. I do a fair bit of paid work now, but it’s still a lot more collaborations than it is paid work. Honestly I prefer it that way most of the time. It means I retain creative control and get to set my own boundaries in advance without feeling I am being “paid” to do anything. Thankfully I’ve got three amazing regular photographers that I work with now, all who have the same crazy imagination as I do, so I can make some amazing content that is of fantastic quality whenever we all manage to be free.

April also saw my “disciplinary hearing” for my day job. Again, I won’t go too far into it apart from to say it was pure patronising, draconian nonsense that left me a cold level of anger. It was having a major effect on my emotional and mental health, leaving me feeling under attack just for daring to be myself. That’s a horrible feeling, in case you’re lucky enough not to have people actively shame you for your life choices. It felt worse because of all the things I was struggling with already (insert PTDS, eating disorder, ASD and ADHD here). It was just one more thing that I didn’t really need to add to the pile of things I was trying to unpack. You try handling your trauma and mental health in a healthy manner when the world keeps telling you that you’re worthless. It’s not fun!

Regardless, the end of April was good for me. It was my best OF month and despite my crappy day job situation I was building up an audience that I was pretty proud to call my #KittysPride (yes I’ve hashtagged myself… so sue me!).

May 2021

Ahh May, my favourite month of the year for two reasons! The first being it is my birthday month, and as luck would have it, I’m a Beltane baby. If you don’t know what that is, let me explain. Beltane is the pagan/wiccan festival of fertility, medicine and music (depending on your tradition of course), and it falls at the mid-point between the spring equinox and mid-summer. You’ll probably know it best if you’re not a practitioner as the Fire Festival, aince bonfires are a huge part of the celebration. There’s a huge and very beautiful Fire Festival celebration in Edinburgh every year. If you haven’t been, I recommend it. So yeah, I was effectively born on the pagan holiday of sex, drugs and rock and roll. You can’t get anymore perfect right?!

My 29th birthday saw me filming my last scene in the Glasgow dungeon, which was a Star Wars themed May the 4th shoot. This is another thing that really needs a post all to itself instead of me just giving you the TLDR here. Long story short, the shoot wasn’t organised well and two of the girls I had become very fond of were put in positions they weren’t comfortable with. I decided very quickly after that shoot that I wouldn’t be working with the owner of that dungeon again because of his conduct. It doesn’t matter how cooshy a scenario is for me, I won’t work for or with someone I see as dangerous. After the girls also stopped doing filming at the dungeon they asked me if I would be ok to get rid of any content with them in it, and of course I agreed without hesitation. So you won’t be able to find the Star Wars shoot on any of my pages. Don’t worry though! I plan on another Star Wars shoot for May the 4th 2022 and this time I’ll be directing as well as making sure everyone involved is safe, sane, consensual and sorted for as much or as little aftercare as they could possibly need.

The second reason I love May is the weather. Its properly warm, without being too hot for this pale Scottish redhead to melt. Its the perfect temperature to run in the evenings or in the mornings and I can do outdoor photoshoots/videos without freezing my tits off. This month was the first time I worked with VicioussProjectPhotography and we did an amazing outdoor shoot in the country park near my house. I got to channel my inner forest nymph in my favourite set of green lingerie. You’ve probably seen a few of these photos (if not more) because they are some of my favourite pictures from last year. My primal kink got to stretch a little too, which is always fun! We also did a little shibari work, getting me tied to a tree for a really beautiful mini-set. I can’t praise Vicious enough for both his editing and photography skills. So little editing was needed on any of his images because he just knew by instinct how to get the perfect shot. It also helped that he’s about as crazy as I am, and was climbing in trees to get the best angles, laughing openly and was just in his element. Its hard not to enjoy working with someone who clearly loves what they do!

I also got my disciplinary results, which made me furious. I was not loosing my job, but I was given a final written warning and a risk assessment had to be done about me, to assess whither or not my “personal lifestyle choices” could be potentially detrimental to the companies reputation. So I put in an immediate appeal, on the grounds that I had been discriminated against, bullied and slut-shamed. I attempted to return to work as I waited for my appeal date to come through, but quickly found myself feeling physically sick and so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat. So my doctor signed me off until after the appeal date, which wasn’t until June.

June 2021

The start of June I won my fight against my day job and returned to work. They lifted the risk assessment on me and I got a verbal apology during the appeal for how the company had handled the whole situation. That was pretty much the best I could hope for all considering, so I returned to work. As I said above, I will write a proper post about this so you can get all the information about it. I can write about it in full now, since I am officially leaving the company in question.

June started well and kept going well! I had an amazing photoshoot down in the borders, as well as a couple of others at home and on location. My kink education videos on TikTok were going well, and I’d finally opened my youtube channel… even if it’s had virtually no content added to it since them! I’m planning on remedying that this year. However there was a bit of a sting in the tail of June. My TikTok account had been flagged a few times for “adult content” over the months since I started, but every video had always been reinstated. So I wasn’t particularly happy when I had my account banned at over 7000 followers. Its a common problem, and the main reason that most other kinktokers (people who talk about kink on tiktok) usually run more than one account at a time. There’s always going to be an angry karen with an attitude problem who’s going to report accounts that go against their personal values, even when the account doesn’t break any of the terms and conditions. It was irritating, but just another one of those things. People who dare to talk about things that aren’t mainstream will often hit more bumps in the road. Thankfully I already had a backup account and a few friends in the community who helped me out by sharing my backup.

I’m still no where near the level of followers I was on my first account, but it is starting to build again. The algorithm is a damn nightmare sometimes! Regardless, I didn’t let getting Thanosed stop me from producing the content I liked to share and I’ll eventually get back up to where I was again. It’ll just take time.

July 2021

July was a quieter month. Having returned to work I had to balance my sex work and my day job around each other, which proved a challenge when my “day” job was nightshift. But I figured it out and things started to settle for me. I had a couple of photoshoots, but mostly I just worked to create solo content on my own and focused on my emotional headspace. I’d been so distracted by the battle against my work that I had let my mental health take a serious backseat. It somehow just seemed easier to focus myself by fighting a righteous war than it would be to put my energy into healing all the trauma I was/am carrying. Of course that’s not an overly nice realisation. I fight insanely stressful wars and battles just to avoid dealing with monsters under my own bed… you’d think if I was a sensible person I’d do it the other way around! Sadly however, I have been “Queen Kitty, First of Her Name; Queen of Bottling Emotions and Avoidance; Protector of Everyone But Herself; The Spoonless Lady and Shieldmaiden of the Helpless” for so long that I still haven’t quite figured out how to remove myself from the weight of those titles.

I spent the rest of July working on my website and fixing up my CV so I could start applying for new jobs. I had accepted while being suspended from work that I definitely needed to let that job go and start something new until I could go full-time self employed. I needed away from everything connected to my life with my ex partner, and that job was one of the last things that I needed to get rid of. I didn’t start applying for anything in earnest until September time, because August was a little wild!

August 2021

So without boring you guys too much, I’ll remind you of what happened in August to every sex worker who used OnlyFans as their main platform. OnlyFans tried to fuck us over! There you go, that’s the summary. If you want the full story you can find it HERE. I wrote a long enough post about it when it was happening so I don’t really want to repeat myself here! What I will do though is rant about how it effected me personally.

I was one of the lucky people who hadn’t been a sex worker for very long and so didn’t have thousands upon thousands of fans to lose, however the effect of moving off of OF knocked my long-term hopes of eventual self-employment back by about 6-8 months. I decided to close my main OF account at the end of September, hopefully giving myself enough time to get my subscribers to move over to my new accounts, while leaving my free lewd OF active so I could use it for advertising. I chose to spread myself out a little more by signing up to three different sites, all of which are very SWer positive.

PocketStars (linky link link) was my first port of call, simply because a lot of other content creators I followed were moving over there. It’s got a nice interface, simple to use, but it is the newer of the three sites I chose and seems to have a lot less traffic than the others. It also doesn’t have the capacity to let you go live, which although I don’t do often, is something I like to have the option of when I have higher subscribers. However I will say that the people who run PocketStars are amazingly supportive! They respond very quickly to queries and have a person on staff to help with emotional support for sex workers. Personally, I think that’s amazing!

My next step was AdmireMe (much link, so wow), which is a UK based site. Because it is UK based, it means I can be paid in GBP instead of USD and don’t have to worry about the conversion… however the downside is that the pool of potential subscribers is smaller. I can’t argue with the interface though, and it has the added bonus that I can sell videos to anyone who uses the site in my premium store, even to people who don’t subscribe to me directly. You can also become friends with other creators for collaboration content, which stops the irritating thing that happens on other sites where you have to set up a different list and remember to exclude other creators in your mass messages.

Finally I signed up to Fansly (clickity clackity). Honestly, of the three I think Fansly is my favourite so far, regardless of the fact that I have made the least money on that platform since starting it. It works as a free follow page, but with a tier system for subscribers. I have three tiers, (Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral and Chaotic Evil) at various levels of content. I can post teases on my free feed, tag it and gain followers much like I do on Twitter or Instagram. I can also post censored teases from my tiers and charge different rates for different tiers if I so wish. It definitely gives me the greatest control over my content, while also acting as my main social media feed. Its taking time to grow, but it’s getting there now! Fansly also happens to be home to most of my kink content, since its a very kink friendly website. I can see it being my main platform in the future… but we’ll see!

I did have one amazing photoshoot in August though! I met up with this amazing photographer called Don (link to his purpleport account) and we did this beautiful themed shoot in the graveyard at Stirling Castle. It was a beautiful day and we managed to get so many gorgeous shots. It was a very gothic styled shoot and we ended up joking at the end of it that a few of the images wouldn’t look out of place as an album cover for an indie band.

September 2021

At the start of September, I wasn’t feeling too great. I had a horrible heavy feeling in my chest, was getting dizzy spells and my glands in my throat and arms became swollen. After a PCR test, just to be sure it wasn’t the dreaded covid, I was able to book an emergency appointment with my doctor. Two visits, a sick line and several blood tests later confirmed that I had caught glandular fever from the girl in my life (who bless her, had also just been diagnosed with it.) I was so ill with it that I spent over a week in my bed or on the sofa, with a raging temperature while only being able to eat soup or porridge because my throat was so swollen. I could barely talk and the exhaustion was horrendous. It just wouldn’t lift! As someone who doesn’t generally get ill, it was quite a shock to the system. The last time I had been seriously ill was when I’d had pneumonia about five years before, and I’d ended up on inhalers for a year afterwards, so I was low-key frightened I’d end up in a similar state. Thankfully, that didn’t happen… but I did get bullied into returning to work long before I was ready. My boss called me and told me that “it’s not covid, and you won’t be contagious if you’re wearing your PPE, so I don’t see why you can’t work?” The idiot I am, I did go back, despite the fact that I was still so tired and my glands were still so swollen I couldn’t eat solids.

The glandular fever didn’t go away entirely until November time, but I’m one of those people that fights through being sick out of sheer stubborn irritation. Me? Sit still for more than five minutes?! PAH! Don’t be silly! I have far too much to do. In fact, I spent most of my time in September being irritated at one thing or another. Being sick meant I had to cancel going down to the BedHoppers Social, which was gutting, and I couldn’t really see the guy or the girl in my life without risking making them sick. So I spent most of my time doing the admin of moving and scheduling content onto my new pages. I discovered quickly that getting subscribers from my OnlyFans to move to new platforms was proving to be a challenge. It didn’t matter that I offered my auto-renewing fans two months free access to the new accounts, or that I reminded them daily that I was closing my premium OF page, they just didn’t want to move! By the end of September I think I lost over 50% of my paying fanbase, putting my plans for self-employment back by a huge margin. I kind of expected that though, so it wasn’t quite the level of blow it could have been.

October 2021

Enter Spooky Month! October is one of my favourite months of the year. I get to start wearing oversized jumpers and fluffy socks in public again, the leaves are super pretty and Halloween means I get to act like a perma-child all month and binge on horror movies. I still wasn’t feeling great, but I had so many big plans for October that I didn’t want to miss out on. Turns out however that the universe wasn’t game for me to get to do any of the things I wanted.

I’d planned a number of shoots for late September, which I rescheduled for October. One was meant to be proper horror porn, with a straight-jacket and forced orgasms on my wand… y’know to burn the female hysteria out of me (like that’d ever work hehe). I’d also planned some water shoots, with a creature from the black lagoon sort of theme. All the sort of creepy horny horror stuff that I personally adore! But it wasn’t meant to be. In mid-October I came down with covid. Yup! Covid on top of glandular fever… the universe is a right cunt sometimes. I had to immediately isolate for ten days and I don’t mind telling you that it was the worst sort of hell for me. Yes I am a fairly contented introvert and I prefer my own company 90% of the time, but not when it isn’t by my own choice. I’m the sort of person that goes to a coffee shop by myself, just so that I can have people around me, but not have to talk to them. That’s all the socialisation I need most of the time. To have that taken away from me and force me to spend all my time alone in my own head was almost more than I could handle. I wasn’t ready to be locked inside with my own demons breathing down my neck. I found it hard to eat without feeling like I wanted to go and throw it all up again. I had zero focus at all, with a constant sense of exhausted brain-fog. Sods law would also dictate that was the week my counsellor was on annual leave, so I didn’t even have that outlet.

I can be thankful for my parents though. They know me well enough to understand that I have an almost pathological inability to ask for help when I desperately need it, and so they dropped food and other goodies off at my door every few days. That was very much my lifeline. Mum packed cold, but healthy, snacks for me, so I didn’t have to think to much about eating or the steps involved in having to cook. I got flowers from my parents too, which helped my flat seem a little more alive. I think my cats appreciated them more though… those little monsters love destroying plants when I have any in the house. Finally those ten days finished and I was free!

I managed to squeeze in a few bits of Halloween content, but nothing compared to the plans I had. I painted myself up as a Pictish witch for some nude photos, which turned out pretty damn hot if I do say so myself! I also did a fun little photoshoot where I painted my face and boobs as pumpkins! I’m pretty proud of the face painting I did for that one. It was a lot of fun, but it did take me some time to get right. My final piece of spooky content was a video shoot I did where I roleplayed being possessed by a ghost and being forced to expose myself and cum on repeat for the horny poltergeist. That took some fancy camera work on my part, given I was doing it on my own, so I was really proud of how it turned out. You can find that video and all the other content on my spicy pages if you want more than a vague description.

November 2021

November was…eventful. It started on a high, when I was hired for a new day job. It was only going to be part time for the duration of my probation, so I lowered my contract with my other job and got all excited to get started. I was only in the job for a week however, before I was called into my managers office and told that I was being let go, effective immediately, because of what I choose to do online in my personal life. Again, this will get a proper post of its own, because it’s far to much to type here, but I’m sure you can imagine that it fucking sucked. That was two jobs in a year that had turned around to me and reduced all of my worth to nothing, based purely upon their moral judgements on my private life.

I responded by doing an amazing anti-slut shaming photoshoot with my friend and photographer Vicious Project Photography who helped me create a very powerful photoset. I wanted to try and show the damage that is caused when you are constantly bombarded by judgements and poisonous insults. It may be water off of a ducks back most of the time, but even the strongest person can’t help but internalise some of that hate eventually. It coincided with the International Week Against Gender Based Violence, so I dropped the images in time with that as well. It was a very intense photoshoot, and I got teary more than once. I felt very empowered afterwards as I washed all of the body writing off. It was a very emotionally cleansing exercise that I’m glad I experienced. It helped give me a feeling of balance again.

Thankfully I also started seeing a therapist in November through Woman’s Aid. I’d been seeing a counsellor most of the year through that charity, but I knew I needed more help to start unravelling the baggage I was carrying. I’d been in therapy briefly when I was younger and I’m a huge advocate of counselling and therapy services. We MOT our cars, we go to the doctors when we are sick, but for some reason we are super resistant to giving our heads and hearts an MOT. I’ve never had that sense of resistance. Actually I’ve had more of a hard time getting the help and actually fighting to get it than I have ever been resistant of it. My new therapist is a lovely woman and is being very helpful in the unravelling of the trauma the universe has given me. It’ll take a long time, but all things worth doing take hard work.

My final photoshoot of 2021 was at the end of November with Olaf Krakov Photography. We did four Christmas themed sets in one morning, so I’d say we were super productive! I got to play around as naughty pin-up Mrs Claus, then as a naughty elf with a giant lollipop, then with baubles hanging off my nipple piercings before finally doing a tiny mini set with whipped cream on my nipples. For the record I am NEVER doing that again. I actually hate food play and I’ve done it twice for content in 2021, so I am vetoing all sticky food play indefinitely! Don’t even waste your time asking! I really can’t stand feeling sticky. Yuck yuck yuck! Regardless the photos were beautiful and I got to drop them throughout December as part of my Christmas Advent challenge.

My final act of November was to turn my free OnlyFans back to a premium one. I didn’t need a free OF account when Fansly works as a free followers page. I decided to keep my OF cheap and for solo content with limited kink. If people want to see me getting dark and twisty they can pay more for that elsewhere! Otherwise, you can find me on OF again for less than the price of a coffee per month.

December 2021

In December I started finally giving in to my doctors advice and took some time off my day job for my mental health. I had been fighting tooth and nail to avoid doing exactly that for months, but it had got to the stage were my eating habits were really bad again, I was having night terrors and my sleeping pattern was seriously askew. My therapist was in the same camp as my doctor, so I was being nagged from two sides (three if you include my parents) to treat myself with more care and compassion.

I spent most of the run up to Christmas feeling less than Christmassy, but I had challenged myself and my twitter friends to do an Advent Photo Challenge, so that kept me relatively busy. I did a couple of videos too, but nothing too crazy or overly active. I wasn’t feeling particularly sexy and I will never push myself to make content if I’m not in the headspace to do so. Thankfully I’m always pretty prepped in advance, so I had a lot of content pre-made that I could drop to fill the gaps. Yay for ADHD hyper-focus days when I become crazy productive! Apart from that, I played my way through my backlog of video games and spent most evenings at my parents place for dinner on the run up to Christmas.

Christmas itself was quiet and simple. Just my parents, brothers, sister-in-law and myself, plus the fur babies. Honestly, it was the best I could have hoped for given how I was feeling about it. I hadn’t had a proper Christmas since I broke up with my ex, since I was very much still in shock and worked through Christmas 2020, so 2021 was the first family Christmas I’d had as a single woman since I was 14 years old. I definitely freaked myself out a lot more about it than I needed to. At the end of the day, it is just one day a year and doesn’t have to hold as much meaning as we put into it. It was nice though, and my family tried very hard to give me lots of reasons to smile. I’ll always be so grateful that I have such an amazing family. We may not always agree on everything, but I do know I am very loved by them and that’s enough.

So there you have it folks! That’s a summary of my 2021.
As I said at the start of this insanely long blogpost, I have no resolutions or intentions of making any in the future. What I do want to do it continue to be the best human I can be, with whatever time I have on this world. So I plan to be open, honest and have fun with my 2022.
All my love to you and yours. May 2022 bring you great joy.

Kitty xxx